At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
