Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
