wat bout pragnant strippers??
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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