The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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