Cold hands, warm shart.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
