actually, I'm a sock model
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
