When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
