i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
