I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
