Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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