You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
