I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
