Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
