I want you more than these girls want KFC
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
