There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Sober January is a disaster.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
