It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
