are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
