he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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