Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
