I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Randomize
