So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
