Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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