you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
