Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
