I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
