i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
