At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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