He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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