You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
