I feel like I'm in dance class right now
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
