Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i think i just lost a toe
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
