Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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