you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
