Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
