I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
