sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
