Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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