I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
