when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
