This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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