I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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