the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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