Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're breaking my sexual little heart
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
