OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
