Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
