You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
