in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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