"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
