just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sober January is a disaster.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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