I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
