I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
