Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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