i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
