...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
