He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
