Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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