My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Who died my cat blue again?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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