the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
