I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
