so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
No subtext here. People are naked.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
3 2 1 whiskey
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
