Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just had sex on a roof
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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