my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
