Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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