Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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