That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
