I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
