it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
