I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
