ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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