I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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