they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
NoShamevember. You game?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
