that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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