mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
