I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
